Hello everyone! Nice to meet you all! Well I just know the truth today. I am a real idiot! No! Suppose to be more idiot than the idiot! My mom said I useless...well probably it was true, I do admit I was useless. But even so, I will try my best not to be useless but somehow I don't think my mom will encourage me to do that. I know I get a very worst result during my PMB (Exam) but still I have give up yet! I keep study hard to get a good result for my "O" level in 2010!!! But my mom said I am just a useless girl, no matter how much I study I won't get a good mark. And somehow it did hurt a lot in my heart but still no matter how it hurt I will do my best and get a good mark!!! I will show it to my mother that I not useless. Even so no one encourage me on this, its okay. At least I encourage myself is more than enough. But one more thing, since she said I was useless, why don't she just born another child so that she can get a clever and beautifull child not like me, ugly, stupid and useless. Well probably we were poor, even so we are poor why don't she just throw me away? But yes, she did mention that she will throw me away if I beign useless again...

Well it okay, I won't be affected by that. Speak the truth, her word which she said just now was really made me hurt a lot, it like it made my heart break into a small, tiny pieces. Her words like a big sword and break my heart into pieces, and that pain made me feel like dying. Actually at first, she asked me "Did you study?" and I answered "Yes!" and I even said "I will do my best in this coming exam! I must get a good result this time!!!" then she said "It useless! No matter how much you read, you are just an idiot. You are useless afterall" and after she said that I was shock. I always thought she always encourage me but why? Why suddenly she didn't encourage me anymore? Did she feel this way all the time? Did she regret after she born me? Did father feel that too? Did god-father feel that too? Then what for I been born here? All this question inside my brain always wonder around. And this question making me more hurt! But then still I dont want to give up!!! I am now on my half way, half more then I will get to the top! So now what I think is no matter who are they, no matter what they said, no matter what they do to break my way, I won't give up! At least I still in this school, I will try my best to get good result to show my family that I not useless. 

But still, even I feel not to give up but I don't know why, no matter I saw my mom or my dad my heart start to hurt. Well it might be great if Yagami still here. When Yagami was here, he always encourage me and he listen to my trouble without any complain but now Yagami was not at the world but I believe that he is encourage me at the heaven! Yup, I believe it! So I must try my best! And you know what? The scar in my heart still in my heart hurting but no worry I will try my best! No matter it was thousand of hurt or million of hurt, I will keep standing here and doing my best!!! I won't lost to a hurt like this! 

Anyway it feel a bit better after I write all my feeling here. Well you know what? If I have a problem and I tell my mother, she will just keep complaining me. It just like my heart was in a mess already but after I tell my mom about my problem, she making my heart more mess. Well if for Yagami, he just quitely listen to my trouble and he even encourage me after he listen to my troubles. Well now he's gone but I know he encourage me at the heaven! Well I must depend on myself, can't depend on the others! That is what I learn when I born! If you have a goal, don't ever give up! Just chase for your goal!!! Well yup, that is what I know when I born. Even so I am useless, even so no one love me, even so I been betrayed, I won't giving up! Every dark cloud had a shining lightning so we must not give our glorious future!

Ah...it feel more better now. And I began more better after listen to a songs! =^.^= And also Valentine Day is coming and it is tomorrow! Well I have already made a lot of Valentine poems! And I wanna shared it with you all! Hope you all don't mind! Hope you all like it! Here we go: